So, what are you going to do now?

...is the most common question I am asked since I exited from Fundipedia last year.

Shortly after the sale in May 2025 I lied to everyone about how I was doing. The nature of the lie depended on who was asking. Regardless, the people from my professional ecosystem usually responded with "You'll soon be back at it Simon, you can't step away for too long". My ego desperately wanted them to be right.

A couple of friends disagreed...

One friend told me it will take month for each year I was in a high pressure environment for my cortisol to reset to the "normal" baseline prior to taking up a high intensity position. I could see their logic.

Another of my wisest friends said "You're fucking insane and I'll slap you if you think about starting anything new without taking at least one, perhaps two years off for the sake of your mental and physical health".

My ego won. I ignored their advice spending September to December 2025 bouncing around meetings in London and on Zoom/Teams juiced up on caffeine and anxiety with people from my old ecosystem. I told myself this is fine but in hindsight I was running scared.

I even joked with my wife Lianne that I had never been busier! I can't recall her response. I was still in flight or fight mode.

It all came to a head just before Christmas over my seventh coffee that morning during a catch up with somebody, we'll call them Kate, who was telling me about their fintech's client implementations and deep project level challenges. My monkey brain switched back to CEO mode - desperately seeking out solutions to client delays, freaking out about the potential for client unhappiness and trying to walk the tightrope of a fair way forward that made sense for her business and its client. I was trying to save her business because the silence of my own life was deafening.

My vision started to tunnel, I got a pain in my stomach and the busy din of cups and plates in the large London Excel hallway we sat in started to fade and there it was - the early onset of a panic attack. Brilliant.

I took off to the nearest bathroom, splashed my face with water and had a word with myself in the mirror. "This is not your business, you cannot fix these issues, let's get out of here". I made my excuses and drove home.

My wife was surprised to see me home early but was not at all surprised to hear about the panic attack. One, I have a history of them. Two, she had seen me at full volume for many years and there was nothing she could tell me to turn it down - I had to fall over myself, again, always.

Christmas came (not my favourite time of year, which probably added to my anxiety), and we got away to the Cotswsolds by a lake for a few days. I turned off my laptop, ignored my phone, and jogged/walked around the beautiful winter scenery.

After a few days there I said to Lianne that I think I need some time off in 2026. She said I know, glad you now do too.

The truth is, I’ve spent twenty years being the CEO and zero years being a person I actually like. I bent my personality to be the CEO so hard and for so long. I would joke with people that I was like 50 cent, I was going to get rich or die trying. But it wasn't a joke - I would rather have died than walked away from the business because I couldn't take the pain any more.

I built two eight-figure assets from a garden shed, but in that bathroom mirror at London Excel, I realised my engine was well and truly stuck on and it would take 20 months to undo 20 years of damage to my mental and physical health.

So, I’m doing something totally different in 2026. I’m building an MK Series kit car with my hands, I’m rejoining a band as a drummer, and I’m finally writing the book I wish I’d had when I set up my business in that garden shed.

This blog and the book will document the raw, ugly truth of bootstrapping—from the garden shed to the exit—including the addictions, the breakdowns, and the tactical systems that kept the business alive when I was falling apart.

I am writing Exit Without Permission for the founder who refuses to choose between a massive exit and a healthy mind. No VCs. No permission. Just the truth.

Stay up to date on progress by entering your email below. You'll hear from me when I post new blogs, updates for the book and real world examples of templates and tactical wins I would use if I started again...it'd be a pleasure to have you on my new journey.